Friday, June 13, 2014

Changing Your Hair Style: Expectations Vs. Reality

We've all had the issue of going into a salon with a picture and clear expectations as to what the finished look will entail, only to find that reality isn't quite what we expected. Unfortunately, this happened to me today, and I thought I'd use this opportunity to talk with you all about expectations vs. reality.

Here's the bangs grow like weeds, and it is something I've always been thankful for in situations like I am facing today. This also means that I have to get them cut regularly, and I went many years without bangs for this reason. I don't know what sparked my idea to get bangs again a few years ago, but I've found that having them gives me a more overall youthful look. (I am forever being told that I don't look my age, so this is a huge ego boost that I'm not willing to give up yet.) Maybe it is because I'm starting to feel old and looking for ways to keep myself looking young, because being in my thirties makes me feel old. 

 The one to the left is slightly longer and blends in better. The one to the right is more fun, and a bit shorter than I would typically go, but I liked them. Drawback to the shorter bangs...upkeep.

So lets talk about expectations first...

Over the years, I've come to learn the difference between cut and style, but honestly, they really are difficult to distinguish and even harder to remember. For example, you are flipping through a magazine and see a photograph that makes you say to yourself, "Oh, I love that!" 

Here is the issue...what you really see is the style and not the cut itself. What may look great on that person in the picture just might not be right for your face shape, which would result in it not looking the same way for you. A good stylist will tell you this when you show them that picture, so you really need to watch out for one that doesn't.

Here was my expectation for getting my bangs cut today.

Courtesy of
I loved the way it parted to the side, but yet still held that youthful look. I knew it would go well with my face shape. It kind of looks like the way I had it in the picture above on the left, but with a bit shorter at the part of the bangs as it sweeps over.

Now for the reality...

No. This is not the same cute, fun way that Ashley Simpson is rocking above, and clearly my stylist did what she felt like doing instead of what I showed her. Sadly this isn't the first time this is happened, so shame on me for allowing it to happen again. I bet you are asking how to bounce back from something this awful? Because it really is awful...

A few years ago, I invested in some good quality hair scissors. They have been a lifesaving tool for my hair in events such as this, and I am so thankful that I have them around. Now is it going to completely fix the issue? Definitely not, because this time was a big mess up, but it could help with minor issues. I'm going to have to wear my hair down to try to cover up the mistakes until my bangs grow out, and then I will have them evened out by a professional. I went ahead and trimmed that right side to even it up with the left. With a round brush, hair dryer, and some hairspray, I think I can make them look almost normal. 

The moral of my story is that you have to be careful about expectations vs. the reality of your cut. The picture to the left is the result from trimming my own hair after my appointment with my stylist.  My expectations weren't wrong in this case, but it is clear that my stylist didn't listen to what I wanted either.  What I should have done was tell her she cut them wrong, but unfortunately I didn't notice until I got home and tried to style them since she was in too much of a hurry to do so herself like she normally would. I can not tell you how upset I was over this whole ordeal, as we all are when something like this happens, but I know that they will grow out quite quickly too. Make sure you talk with your stylist before she takes the scissors to your hair to ensure she has a good idea of what you are looking to achieve, and don't let them rush you either as mine did.  Yes.. their time is valuable, but so is your hair. Don't be afraid to tell them you don't like something, because you are the one who has to live with how it looks. Keep your expectations realistic, and listen to your stylist if he or she says the cut isn't for you. 

And in the end, just remember it is only hair and it will eventually grow out to start the process all over again.


  1. I totally understand how you feel! I'm still mad at the person who, when I said take TWO inches off (so get it brushing my shoulders), ended up taking about 6" off and that was 20 years ago. Seriously, it was a couple inches past my shoulders, and when she was done, it was just past my chin. The next guy got my wrath (and he pulled out a ruler from his workbench and measured and showed me what I was asking for, and I said yes, that's EXACTLY what I want, and he cut it that way).

  2. I have been with my hairdresser for 17 years. There is a reason - she is amazing. She not only listens, but she is that friend who can say "sweetie it's cute but your hair will not do that without an act of God" - which is often needed. We work well together and I also trust her enough to cut my husband's hair.

  3. I remember a bad hair cut I had about ten years ago where the woman was horrific at layers. Ugh. It took my hair about two months to look normal again. It's too bad that we all have these horror stories!!!